In the wake of my breakup I am doing some major (ahem) soul-searching. Not so much of the "who/where is God" variety as much as "whoa, I need to do some work on ME" variety.
As part of that work, I'm digging in to some childhood issues that I never knew I had but which have deeply affected the choices I make in men. It's a scary, hard process that feels a little hopeless right now, like I've just gotten a glimpse of myself as this incredibly broken person and who knows, really, if I can be fixed. I have started to get panicky that I am 34 and my mate-picker is all screwed up. So there's that. Yuck.
But another angle I am tackling is the hole, the gap, the existential loneliness that I have to admit I feel as I've let go of God. I miss community, I miss a sense of purpose, I miss connecting with people around questions of "how to be" in the world.
So I started wondering today if I might enjoy going to a Unitarian Universalist church. I'm not interested in dogma or theology. I'm not interested in the trappings of religion. I *am* interested in finding people who are trying to live meaningfully, whatever their concept of God is (and even if they have none, kinda like me right now). I'm a little afraid of finding a bunch of boring duds there. But I sort of think I have nothing to lose at this point. I just don't know where else to find that kind of community in real life.